A new day, eh? Yeah, I’ll take one.

17 Apr

“You know what, mommy? Tomorrow is a new day. It’s gotta be better than today. We can start fresh and it will all be good.” –Analise

Oh, I love that kid. She has such wisdom for her almost six years of life.

She is so right. I mean, we have all had those days. Right? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Today has been a typical day around our house. Last night, I stayed up waaaaay too late working on various projects, then this morning my hubs woke me up late (sort of happy for the extra sleep….but), which meant I didn’t get my morning run and shower in before the kids were awake. Without those two necessary components, I can guarantee you that my whole day will be off. I need my time to wake up and pray before I have to be “on” as a mother.

Then Annie began complaining of a sore throat and feeling yucky (which is about the millionth bug we’ve had go through our house this winter). As a side note, I have had to eat so much crap this year for my previous boasting that our kids are so healthy. Humble pie, anyone? I’ll take a few slices for the team.

So, anyway, we had to cancel plans with friends for the 3rd time in 2 weeks because someone in this house was sick. I fear that we are becoming that family that no one wants to be around because someone is always sick….sigh.

Then the toilet leaked everywhere—the one I use to spray out our cloth diapers—so, being out of commission isn’t an option. I have piles of stinky diapers accumulating—eww.

By 9:30, Annie was complaining that she didn’t feel good enough to do school, and Jonah had successfully completed his mission to purposely irritate any and all in sight (including the 2 dogs that we are watching) and James had destroyed any semblance of order that was left in our house.

And, I try….oh, how I try, to be calm and patient—but being tired and behind schedule, I struggle—like every day.

As a mom, I beat myself up daily for the inept job I do at raising and schooling my kids. I know that we are our own worst critics, and it is so easy to fall into the “woe is me” attitude.

In general I have not found it helpful to go down that road, though. Instead, I try to embrace the advice I received once from my spiritual director.

On days like this, I need to run to God for His mercy and grace more than ever. I cannot rely on my own abilities to be a good wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. Sitting there feeling sorry for myself and wishing away every decision and reaction that I had that day won’t change anything. Only turning to God and asking for His grace and mercy to do better the next day will get me the change of attitude and action that I need.

St. Therese of Liseux wrote, “God is nothing more than mercy and love.” I find myself clinging to those words. He is nothing more than mercy and love and I need to run to Him. Just like he extends His mercy and love to each of us, I need to extend it to myself when I have mom fail days. When I approach Him in humility, begging for the grace to do better and be better, that is when my heart and mind can slowly change.

We are all so broken, aren’t we? We all need so much grace, so much love, so much mercy.  Praise God for His new day…a new day to pick up, try again, and rely on Him.

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