My heart

2 May

It is hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that it was six years ago today that you came into this world.  My labor with you was induced, as your amniotic fluid levels were dropping and it finally came to that time where it was safer to bring you a little early than to risk you staying in my belly.  Labor with you was looooong and not a lot about our “birth plan” came to fruition.  But you came, and you were perfect and so beautiful!

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I remember being so overwhelmed that you were actually here and were entrusted to us as a gift from God.  We had prayed so long and so hard to have you.  Those two surgeries and various rounds of tweaking hormones seemed like a distant memory the first time you were placed in my arms.

I remember the first time that daddy got to hold you—something in him melted and I knew at that moment that you had captured his heart.  You were and have continued to be a “daddy’s girl” through and through.

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Once we got you home and Nanni and Poppi left to head back to Michigan, I remember your daddy and I staring at each other and saying, “So now what do we do?”  The learning to be a mommy and daddy gig was so overwhelming to us at first.  I stressed and stressed and stressed about everything with you being just perfect and as the text books said it should be (looking back, I can say with certainty that I had a serious case of PPA—I overcame it and my more – or less — rational brain took back over—thank God!)

As you grew, you amazed me daily—I didn’t know it was possible to love and care for someone so intensely.  You were our world—nothing mattered more than taking care of you.   Before you were a year old, we made the decision to move back to Michigan to be by family.  We wanted our dear friends and relatives to know the beautiful baby we had been blessed with.  Your outgoing, vivacious personality was contagious and we longed to be near family to share you with them.

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Within a year of moving back to Michigan, you brother Jonah came along.  You were in love from the very moment you met him.

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The love that you have for Jonah never ceases to amaze me—you two are still like two peas in a pod.  When you are gone, Jonah is lost.  When he is gone, you are lonely.  It is a lovely relationship that I hope lasts for the rest of your lives.

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As the years have gone by, your true personality has developed and it is scary to me just how similar we are—it is probably the reason we butt heads more often than not.  You are strong-willed, determined, intelligent, fast-talking, and are a true people pleaser.  You can sense when tension is rising and you will do anything to deflect that tension so that everyone is happy.  You are a peacemaker, and you humble me with your kindness towards others.

You are also a mother-in-training.  This became increasingly evident after James was born.  Not only did you want to emulate everything with your babies that I was doing as a mother, you also wanted to do the tasks of a mother.  Even if that meant telling daddy and I what to do Smile.  It is not uncommon for me to still remind you, “Wait, who is the mommy, me or you?  Oh yeah, me…”

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Yet, it is beautiful for me to watch.  You have an innate love for children—you are so kind and loving to them.  You also have a spirit about you that is genuinely compassionate.  When you know that a family member or friend is in need of prayers, it is you who always reminds us to pray for them during our family prayer time.  You have a connection to God and a love of the Good Shepherd that humbles me—it brings me to my knees, begging God to love as you do, as He does—unconditionally.

You are growing up too fast and I just wish I could wrap my arms around you and hold you tightly and squeeze into you the love that bursts from my heart from the joy that you bring to me.

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You are so beautiful—both inside and out.  My hope and my prayer is that *you* know the beauty that is you…the gift that you are to all of your loved ones.

On your sixth birthday, I thank God with an overflowing heart of gratitude that He gave you to us.  I look so forward to the years to come and I trust that this sweet, innocent child that you are will blossom into a lovely young lady.  Thank you for being my heart.

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2 Responses to “My heart”

  1. designhermomma May 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

    SUCH a beautiful post! Ugh, they grow up way to fast. Like so fast.

  2. Katie May 2, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

    So beautiful! Happy birthday!

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