Focusing on the positive, not dwelling on the negative

1 Sep

Ho hum…it has been such a whirlwind of busy since getting back from vacation last weekend, with more hours than I can count working on the atrium, a few last minute school preparations, and just trying to get back on top of things since being gone for over a week.  It has been good, but geez, I’m tired. 

On top of these usual busy life issues, we continue to work through the kids’ health issues  (here and here).  As a mother, my heart strings have been tugged at a lot lately.

Let’s focus on the good:  Annie.  Once she got the “yes, she has tics” from our doctor, we started her on some probiotics and extra vitamins, as was recommended by both doctors who checked her out.  We also had some food allergy testing done on her and have eliminated a few items from her diet (mainly dairy and a few grains).  These things have helped tremendously with her tics.  They are much less noticeable and don’t seem to be hindering her like they used to—yeah!  She still gets annoyed at them on occasion, proclaiming, “Mommy, I hate it when I twitch—it is so annoying.”  But for the most part, she is oblivious and we are all settling into the little tics that make Annie who she is.  I’d say that the hardest part about the tics is that along with the neurological issues that cause tics, she is also compelled to be a bit OCD.  This can be a true test in parenting patience because oh my geez, when she gets stuck on something, there is no stopping the amount of questions and thoughts she has on the topic.  Phew—it can be exhausting, but, again, it is who she is and boy does it give Jason and I such opportunities to grow in patience and charity. 

So there’s the good.

Now for the—um….less good.

After having visited a neurologist, hematologist, bleeding and blood disorders clinic, 2 pediatricians, physical therapists, and a natural health kinesioligist (and others, I am sure—I can’t remember every last one we’ve been sent to at this point), and having countless tests and viles of blood drawn, no one….and I mean NO one has been able to explain or solve the chronic viral infection in Jonah’s blood, or help him to absorb iron and other nutrients better.  And about 9 months ago, James started in with similar patterns in his blood work.  We have tried literally everything that we can.  Yet no one can seem to crack their code. 

Sigh…

But to focus on the positive, the dietary changes and the nutrition supplements have definitely helped to improve symptoms and the overall energy levels on the boys.  So, that is awesome.  They are happy, they are loved, and that is what matters the most.

But, sigh…

As the school year gets underway, I’m praying for a winter with less illnesses.  And my hypochondriac tendencies will definitely be given a proper run for their money because their immune systems are, well, compromised, as they say.  They don’t fight infections well.  So pardon me if I ask you to not bring your sick kids to my class or my home or I keep mine from others who are sick this year.  Their little bodies don’t handle illnesses like many other kids (so back off, m’kay).

But, really, in the midst of it all, we are totally and completely peaceful.  We don’t regret any of the testing (well, the EMG was nothing short of awful—you know, holding down your son while they poke him with a bunch of needles to see how his muscles respond—that one totally sucked), doctors visits, the money, the time, the hours spent on our knees praying—we don’t regret it. 

This parenting gig, it is tough.  I never would have imagined that we’d produce kiddos with issues—especially ones that can’t be figured out by the medical community.  But, this is our cross to bear.  Our hearts are saddened that no one can “fix” the boys’ problems, but it is ok.  We live in a fallen world with sicknesses and death.  This world is passing, Heaven is eternal.  And when we suffer, we are the closest that we can be to God.  He extends His love and mercy and our hearts are complete.  We are HIS children, He will never abandon us.  He just asks us to trust.  And we do.  Peacefully and whole heartedly, we do. 

No matter what may or may not happen, our children are loved, so very loved, by us, by their family and friends, and most importantly by their Heavenly Father, who we entrust them to each and every day.

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