The one where I tell James what I am really thinking

7 Sep

Dear James,

I love you fiercely.  Oh so fiercely.  You are a bundle of hugs, kisses, and “Hi, Mommy!”  All day, you follow me around.  You demand hugs.  You demand to be picked up.  And when I do, you plant a juicy kiss right on my lips.

You are passionate.  You are intense.  You are a fiery ball of naughty.  And you my love, are driving me nuts.

You see school started this week and you are so not happy about it.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you are making it your goal to completely and utterly destroy my vision of what our homeschool days look like. 

:: big sigh::

Last year was smooth sailing.  This year, we’ve hit every bump along the way and we are only 4 days in. 

You are so damn strong willed.  You will scream and cry at the edge of the schoolroom and even if your brother or sister come to play with you, you are not content unless you are in the school room—destroying everything. 

You scream, “NO!” all day long.  You like to wrestle your brother (who hates to wrestle) and when he cries, you point to him and say, “Cry.”  And then you sit on him. 

When I try to have you sit on my lap while I work with your siblings, you kick and yell and demand to get down.  This always lands you in the playroom (just outside the school room).   And then you yell some more.

By the end of the day, I’m a little frazzled (okay, a lot—I admit it).  But then we get ready for bed and you snuggle in to me with “Raarrr” (your stuffed lion) and “Buddy” (your blanket) and I sing and rock you until you get sleepy, and then you whisper, “I wove you mommy” and my heart melts. 

And I pray that tomorrow will be a better day. 

I love you, little man.  Please be good.

Or your mommy just might lose it.

Love,

me

Advertisements

4 Responses to “The one where I tell James what I am really thinking”

  1. Jason September 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    While this post would be hilarious if I were a complete outsider, it gives me deep concern as the father of this “fiery ball of naughty”. I’ve experienced all of the behaviors you described, but not while simultaneously trying to home school 2 other kids.

    All I can say is that I believe it will get better. It will take time, patience, etc… and won’t be much fun for a while – maybe a long while. But I think the results will be worth it. I wouldn’t have written this if I didn’t know you felt the same way. I love you, babe. You can do this.

  2. Jason September 7, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    To be clear, the “deep concern” I feel is out of love for my family, not out of lack of faith in your ability to do a world-class job homeschooling our kids. Like I’ve told you before, if anyone can do an amazing job at this, it’s you. Just in case there was any confusion 🙂

  3. Jill September 7, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    If it makes you feel any better, Eve cut her hair on the first day of school. She managed to do it and put the scissors away without anyone noticing. The only evidence was a single blonde curl on the kitchen table. And, while I’m pretty sure she is nearly exactly James’s age, she is completely incapable of uttering the sentence, “I wove you Mommy.” Her limit is 2 unintelligible syllables.

  4. Kelly Wissink September 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

    Amanda, your passion for giving your all to your children in
    terms of planning and being fully present with them is totally
    evident. You are blessing your children and doing the will of God!

    Forgive me, but how old is James? God did not intend the teaching of
    our children to be a fight all day long. It sounds like he is an intelligent,
    loving, and strongly opinionated child. After lots of prayer, you may need to
    adjust his physical surroundings; would he still have a fit if you moved
    schooling to the couch in the living room? What if he was responsible for
    teaching his siblings and felt empowered?

    I do not know your family personally, Amanda, but after 6 years of homeschooling
    3 totally different kids I have found that often my plans are not the best
    plans and I need to really listen to the heart of my child.

    I will be praying for you and I do so hope that you will experience God’s
    peace as you enter a fresh and new week!
    Kelly Wissink (Jason’s cousin 🙂 )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: