Creighton Lessons

20 Dec

It has been just over six months since I officially closed Hope FertilityCare Center of Mid-Michigan.  This was my Center that was affiliated with the FertilityCare Centers of America and the American Academy of FertilityCare Professionals.  In short, my “job” was to work with women and couples to help them to learn to track their reproductive cycles and thus use a “natural” and “cooperative” means of achieving and avoiding a pregnancy. 

While our goal was to work with *all* types of couples, countless infertility couples flock to Creighton because it has an extremely high success rate (up to 80%) at helping infertility couples acquire answers, healing, and ideally achieve and sustain a pregnancy.  This is a 3 fold increase over IVF and other artificial means of achieving a pregnancy.  How’s that for some incentive?

Anyway, my journey with Creighton began when Jason and I were struggling with infertility.  When we moved back to Michigan, God put it very strongly on our hearts to bring this ministry to our area.  After a lot of prayer and discussion, we decided to have me get trained and begin working with couples.  I could write volumes about my experiences with couples, but as time passes and other priorities keep me busy, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the most important lessons that I learned while working in this field.

1.  Everyone has a story.  Every woman and couple that walked through my door had a unique story.  The road that many of these couples had traveled on was painful, heart wrenching and down right brutal.  The infertility couples that I worked with always had a special place in my heart, as we, too, had walked that painful road.  Infertility can make a couple feel so very isolated from their baby-making friends.  I cannot begin to articulate just how many couples would email or call (outside of our appointment times), just to have someone listen and say, “I understand and I’m sorry.”  True empathy can go a long way in helping couples to heal.

Today, I got an absolutely beautiful letter in the mail from a couple that I worked with years ago.  After seeking treatment from our Creighton trained doctors, they still were not able to achieve a pregnancy….until, they did!  They sent along a beautiful framed ultrasound picture of their little nugget along with some truly kind words:  “…We truly believe that you are one of these angels and will be forever grateful to you.  Thank you for your support, expertise, unwavering hope and prayers.  Words cannot express the happiness in our hearts…”

Talk about making me teary!  Praise God for the gift of life!

2.  God’s plan is always the perfect plan.  In our own experience, God granted us the desires of our heart when we stopped trying to take control ourselves and truly (not just saying it, but believing it) let go and said, “Your will, not mine.”  For many couples, this takes months and even years before they can let go—let go of their plan and embrace HIS.  My mind is flooded with experiences with my clients when this reality began to set in.  And what was even more awesome was to watch how God took their desires and granted them biological children and for others, placed an adoptive child in their care when they absolutely least expected it.  It was truly humbling to witness.

3. Desperation can often cause couples to go to measures that they later regret.  I truly believe that in America we have lost sight that children are a gift not a right.  This is hard, but true.  We live in a society in which we are told we can have whatever we want whenever we want it.  On a number of occasions, I had couples contact me who had tried all or some of the artificial reproductive technologies (ART) to achieve a pregnancy.  Never. Ever. Ever did I have a couple say that it helped them or their marriage.  In fact, I can vividly recall couples telling me that their marriage was on the brink of divorce.  After a few months of learning Creighton and working with our doctors, those words were very often turned into, “Creighton saved our marriage.  Thank you.”  Unfortunately, I have had a few couples leave Creighton when they were not able to achieve a pregnancy.  I pray for them daily.  I know for certain that a number of those who had turned to ART have either divorced or found their marriages in a sad place.

4.  When we leave God out of the equation, the devil takes control.  The act of intercourse is an innately unitive act.  It’s what allows a husband and wife to "become one."  Ideally,  we can obey God’s command to "be fruitful and multiply" when we work with him and obey his commandments.   With ART, the unitive aspect–the "two becoming one" is destroyed.  Sure it is the wife’s eggs and the husband’s sperm, but they you didn’t unite together to allow them to create new life.  In my experience, the breakdown of the marriage escalates as the husband and wife are no longer looked at as a couple, but as subjects that are as good as their sperm and eggs are.  This is the antithesis of how God created us—we were created in HIS image and likeness–precious, honored, and loved by Him.  His will, His timing, for children is always the best plan. 

4.  Balance and priorities.  When I began working in the Creighton ministry, Annie was just a wee one.  As more kiddos came into the mix and God called us to homeschooling, we found that there were just not enough hours in the day to devout to the Creighton ministry anymore.  Making the decision and then taking the full year that it took to get everything in place to officially transfer out clients and close this chapter in our lives was so bittersweet.  Creighton is what helped us to bring three lovely children into this world…it was now time to focus our energies in educating them and raising them. 

I’m still always so touched when past clients send cards and emails.  Many, many, many of these couples became family friends and hold such a tender spot in my heart.  I’m grateful and humbled to have had the opportunity to work with them.

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One Response to “Creighton Lessons”

  1. Fr. David Hudgins January 13, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    GREAT post!!!

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