because it is

23 Jan

I often tap out a blog post, hit publish, which then gets posted on the usual social media spots.  And, about 10 seconds later, I go on to those sites and delete them.  I kind of panic and think—this is too personal to post.

And then over the course of the next few hours, memories of emails, private messages, texts, etc come to my mind and I’m reminded of the countless people who have reached out and said, “Thank you for sharing…” and then proceed on with their story.  They always come after those times when I hesitate to share our story. 

But, I know that healing can come in knowing you are not alone.  For 5 years I worked as a Creighton Model Practitioner.  Numerous nights each week, I’d sit in a conference room with couples who would bear their souls too me and share the deep pain they were going through with infertility, miscarriages, or general fertility issues.  I couldn’t begin to count the number of times I reached across the table, held a crying woman’s hand and offered reassuring words and a box of Kleenex.  And the one common denominator is that they felt so alone. 

In that moment, I had the opportunity to be the face of Christ to them.  I learned pretty quickly that the right words can heal.  And these people?  Had heard a lot of the wrong words.  They were broken, and they were hurting. 

Words are powerful, people.  And they need to be used with care and concern. 

And, so when I’m having a moment, a day, a funk of a week, I will write about it.  Because you know what?  That’s life.  We all have a story and every day is not always sunshine and lollipops.   Yesterday, I had a few choice words for God, ate waaaay too much chocolate and then cleaned my house like there was no tomorrow (my usual coping mechanism).

Today?  It’s a new day.  We got up, went to some appointments and then ended our morning at Adoration.  Little man kept whispering, “Momma, I’m sitting quietly.  But, I can’t hear what Jesus is saying.”  This led to a conversation on the way home about how we hear God in the depths of our heart.  To this, Annie explained, “Whenever I am praying, I always tell God, ‘speak Lord, your servant it listening.’”

Today I could listen with greater clarity.  Today, I could say those wise words from Annie, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.’”  And he responded, “I am with you.”

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